Ronking round the world

Drunkenness! With Bren away at the Reef, all there was left to do was to sit, read my book and then slowly drink until death. Lyndsey, Mel, Millie, Hannah, Sarah Christine and numerous other revellers sat outside the bar drinking, telling stories and laughing at various embarrassing pictures of Brena and I on the digital camera. When Bren did get back, he was treated to a bit of a heroes welcome by me, as he had in his hand a bottle of Bundaberg Royal liqueur! What a star! We all proceeded to chat, drink and generally arse about until bren went to sleep at around 11 (had to be up for more scuba diving nonsense at 6:15!!) Things took a turn for the drunk and, at the stroke of midnight, it was decided that everyone would get into the pool for a spot of midnight swimming (carfeul not to get my right ear wet...)

I'd like to take a moment now to thank, from the bottom of my heart, the man who invented the bikini (something to do with an atoll in the Pacific, bit hazy on the details...) If he's still alive, he surely deserves to be honoured in the best way possible! If not, his offspring must be told of just how great a man their father truly was... Anyway, after much frolicking with bikini clad ladies and numerous members members of bar staff, Lyndsey and I retired to her balcony where we proceeded to get more drunk, and stay up talking until, at 6:14, my alarm wnt off to remind me to wake Bren up. I carefully walked (stumbled) back to our room, told Bren he had to wake up (he was already awake) and promptly said "Well, if you're awake, I may as well be asleep" and passed out.

Next memory was a cleaner turning up at my door with a hoover strapped to his back in a ghostbuster style, leading me to panic slightly, thinking I was about to be hoovered into some kind of trapping device. Sanity returned, and I dealt with the trauma well by falling asleep until 2:30 PM.

Going out to some kind of club tonight, preceeded by lots of bar visits and drinking of Bundaberg, which is set to be a bit of a laugh! Will nab Brens phone for Midnight (2PM) happy-new-years texting, just to weird those of you in England out!

Enjoy your new years folks, will mail you all soon (not in a group email though...)

Chris

Minor setback. Have gone to the doctor under the instruction of Bren's scuba instructor, and discovered that I indeed have otitis media with perforation. For everyone but my Mum, that's a nasty perforated eardrum, which means I now have to keep it dry, meaning that I have to even shower with earplugs in! On the upside, I can now sing in the shower as badly as I want, with absolutely no ill effects whatsoever! In other news, Bren managed to oversleep for his second day's scuba instructions by more than an hour. Luckily, some higher force was on his side, and just as we was in the bathroom, the (rather pretty) receptionist knocked on our door telling me that the guy from CDC (Cairns Diving College) was downstairs for a second time, and would Brendan mind getting out of bed... Unsurprisingly, i had thought this was Brendan wanting to be let back in, and so had answered the door in quite the state of undress. After a semi awkward looking-but-not-looking moment, I bounded off to get Bren, and off a scuba-ing he did go.

Last night was pretty cool in the end, even though Bren and I ended up asleep the "Wrong" side of 11PM (just after 10. Embarassing eh?). We met a hyperexcited girl called Lindsay, who was really rather amusing. She'd been parachuting in the UK and was telling us what to look out for. It sounds like we'll have a hell of a time, although i'm sure that my skydiving video will tax the capabilities of even the most high-tech bleeping machine...

Have finally managed to anger the Australian wildlife as well as it's elements (It was only a matter of time...). Whilst sitting in the doctors waiting room I counted my bites, which now number 83! Feeling a LITTLE itchy... Also, I managed to enrage a rather large and rather noisy black and white bird to the extent whereby it chased me a good 50 metres down the road, pecking me on the top of the head! At first I sort of waved my arms about, thinking it would fly away, but this quickly gave way to a full-on panic-induced sprint, which must have been absulotely hilarious to watch. It must have thought I was after it's eggs....

Anyway, off to get some earplugs (joy) and to cancel my great barrier reef cruise, and exchange it, possibly, for a bottle of vodka or Bundaberg Royal Liqueur with which to drown my sorrows. On the upside, I'll be able to go diving once we get to Thailand, providing my ear heals, which will save me muchos cash.

Off to fill a bath with Anthisan for a relaxing soak, will let you knwo how new years goes!

Chris

Bren's taken the plunge (ho, ho hooo) and started a 4 day scuba diving course, started his first day at 9AM today (boy did he hate that!) Woken up this morning by the most wrong-sounding shout of "Cleaner!" in a gravelly Australian man's voice. Just sounds so wrong! I'm booking my cruise today, hopefully the lovely Misty will be at reception so I can be sure that it actually happens (levels of competency and lovliness vary wildly amongst the reception staff!) In cairns central again, have written and sent my remaining 3 postcards whilst sweating like a trooper. No one has thought to put a table in an airconditioned area yet, apart from the bar, which, usefully, opens at 5pm! Did the sensible thing last night, and watched Hook, The Two Towers (on DVD, no cost!) then played a bit of pool and had a few pints in the most physically massive pint glasses i've ever used!! Bought another massive cake yesterday, to go with the meat frenzy that Bren and I have purchased (accompanied, you'll be surprised to note, by apples!) Gonna finish up emailing, get back to the hostel then go for a well earned swim. Hope you're all keeping well, and that those of you who've got postcards can read my handwriting. I'm simply crap at writing postcards!! And, writing at all, if we're going to be honest...

Finally watched Return of the king. There were times back there when it was all too beautiful, but i managed to hold it together and I must say, it was everything i hoped it would be. Few too many slow motion shots of people talking, and Aragorn was a bit TOO heartless towards poor Eowyn, but other than that, a thoroughly excellent bit of cinema. The best bit was watching the spider scene with an Australian audience. You could almost hear them thinking "I had a spider that big in my bathroom once...." Am preparing for the "all three films in one day" endurance fest, which consists of the extended cuts of the first two, followed by the cinematic versiuon of the last one. Wonder how my eyes will adjust to natural light at the end?

Speaking of natural light, I looked up into the trees above Jeff's parking space and saw hundreds of bats, asleep upside down, making random bat noises (do bats snore?). Eerie. Booking my great barrier reef cruise today, Bren should be doing some scuba diving too (Lucky get!) All that's left to do now is to wait for new years and plan our epic drive through the outback (everyone who's seen our car and heard what we plan to do has simply laughed and said "good luck..")

Will let you know how the cruise goes, take it easy everyone, and enjoy the build up to new years!

In the dollar an hour internet cafe at the moment (Cheers Chrissy!) hope you all had a merry Christmas! Bren and I were going to spread confusion and mischief by wishing you a merry Christmas some 10 hours before it was due to you, but we got drunk and forgot. Watch out for all manner of temporal confusion on New Years eve (or is it, hahahahhhaaa!) Last few nights were pretty cool, but I'm reminded of my comment that the drive up from Tully was uneventful. It was, apart from the breathtaking tropical scenery and rather imposing mountain range on the land side of the highway.

Christmas eve was pretty cool, we managed to meet up with Dave and James and get a little tipsy to bring in the holiday, with me obviously draped in tinsel and wearing a Santa hat.



There was, however so little room, that if you did try to swing a cat in there, you'd look down to open your catsack only to find it had been punted halfway across the dancefloor (for dance floor read elbowing contest). A rather average music selection meant I was reasonably annoyed by the time the lights went on, but fortunately help was at hand in the shape of the most fantastically active and vociferous drunk I've ever seen! Singshouting at the top of his voice "Suck me off Christmas," in a slurred repeating way. Bren physically creased up with laughter, with the rest of us close to tears. After a while, the police turned up to make sure someone was looking after him. Some chap claimed to be his roommate, and they seemed quite content that he was going to make it home. Australian Police are excellent, especially when they actually tried to talk to the guy and he came out with the best invite I've ever heard, and the funniest thing I've heard all holiday. He leant over to one of the policemen and said, in as earnest a voice as he could: "Would you like to come back to my place for some Christmas maneauverability". Funnier than hell at the time, but you really did have to be there... The end of the evening was only marred by a scuffle between some Australian townies and a couple of bouncers at the kebab stall we went to.

Christmas day itself was fairly subdued due to the heat. Bren and I went to the other's hostel, but sadly they weren't there. We ended up eating Christmas (well, fishmas for me...) dinner to the tune of some excellently picked jukebox classics. Managed to meet up with the others just before midnight by pure fluke, and proceeded to hatch a plot to get the others to dance by encouraging riotous drunkenness, shortly before Bren and I discussed the meaning of existence and whether there really was a higher meaning to life, as you do in a club...

Sure enough, after an hour or so we were all dancing enthusiastically, including rather surprisingly, non partying Dave. Good on yer Dave! Once again my rather unique dancing style attracted comment, but also a gay man and a rather gorgeous gyrationally inclined Aussie girl, whom i ended up dancing "cheek to cheek" with... Unfortunately as I was so into dancing, I failed to register that this meant that she was interested, and managed to put it past the post from about 8 yards out. Curses! Off to see lord of the rings now, Dad, if you're reading this, try to be near the phone at about 6pm your time as I'm going to try to call. That is if you're back from Goa. Anyway, if you're not, it doesn't matter as you won't be reading this.

Carry on...

Unspeakably hot. In Cairns at the moment, where anything other than rigid stillness results in an instant sweat covering. The drive up from Tully was pretty uneventful, booked into our hostel, which is about as close to the town centre as I am to god. Managed to meet up with Shane in a "I'm on the internet in the building next to you" incident and wandered round looking for a place to fix my camera. Bren Shane and I got a haircut in a superb barbers with porn mags to read while you waited for your haircut. Bit better than a 3 year old copy of Hello magazine, eh?

Went shopping in Woolworths for food, buying a rather brilliant BBQ pack with Lamb, steaks and sausages for $5.50 (about 2 pounds!) Whilst walking back to the checkout, I clapped eyes on the most perfect cake i've ever seen, for 3 dollars. I went to the checkout to find that Bren had already paid for the shopping. I thought my moment had passed, mentioning the cake in passing to Bren as we walked down the street, but, brilliantly, his eyes lit up and we hatched a plan for a drive-by caking.

We drove down the street, came to an abrupt halt outside woolies, I lept out and bought the cake in under 2 minutes, and waited looking shifty at a junction. Bren rounded the corner, stopped all the traffic going down the street, I jumped in and we sped off to enjoy our BBQ and cake. Brilliant.

Our hostel sadly doesn't allow alcohol bought elsewhere on it's premesis, so we snuck in our (warm) beers, and managed to jury-rig a rather ingenious fridge using the air conditioner, a coathanger, a six pack beer holder and 3 cans of xxxx. Nice to see our university education hasn't been wasted!! We met the others at the woolshed (Famous Cairns club type place) got really rather drunk and started to do flaming sambuca's, leading to some interesting photos and me Burning Brens top lip. Sorry Bren! Shane once again had to do handstands on the dancefloor, and, once again got thrown out of the club after lying on his back perfectly still for about a minute, hoping the bouncer wouldn't notice him... A top night all in all, ending with me locking Bren out of the room and falling unconscious so completely that I slept right through him banging on the door so loudly that he woke our neighbours up.

In Cairns til the 2nd of January, waiting til the boxing day to watch Return of the king. Sadly, during snorkelling in the Whitsundays I discovered that my right ear can't stand the pressure of being underwater more than a few feet, so my plans to become a qualified diver after xmas have been scuppered. Looks like i'll just have to go snorkelling and get drunk, possibly doing both at once, eh Jennifer? ;)

Speak soon

Chris

Jeff lives! Picked the little blighter up from network today after 2 days on Magnetic island, which is a really cool and relaxed little island off the East coast of Oz. That is to say relaxing if you don't elect to do a 6 kilometre jungle hike/endurance test in the 34 degree heat. I can honestly say i've never enjoyed anything as little as I enjoyed that hike. There wasn't even anything to see at the top!! Anyway, last night Bren and I stayed at Maggies beach house, a funky new hostel on the island. We met an interesting/crazy German lady called Claudia and proceeded to get drunk with her, sharing all sorts of travelling stories and generally having fun, with the minor inconvenience of me elbowing my beer rather athletically onto the floor...

Today was spent playing golf in the 38 degree heat, during which Bren lined up a perfect drive, swung and sent the head of MY club a good 50 yards down the fairway... We got the ferry, after a fairly gruelling 9 holes, collected Jeff, showered (oh god did I need that) feasted on coco pops and drove up to Tully, 18KM south of Cairns, where we're off to tomorrow. Randomly, we met up with most of the poeple from the Habibi on Magnetic Island, and we'll be spending Christmas with them. Happy holidays everyone!

Chris

Hello from Townsville, home of the powerpuff girls! Kind of an enforced stopover after the worst driving day we've had. We left Airlie beach at about mid day, after my attempts to find Jeff (the American, not the car) were foiled by some incredibly rude Japanese girls in room 26 (Sorry mate, I did try!). Heading into a suburb of Queensland called Brandon, Brendan was inadvertently going 20kmh over the (infrequently posted) speed limit, and promptly got pulled over by a man wearing socks up to his knees wearing a badge saying "Officer in charge". It was quite hard not to laugh. One $250 dollar fine later and we were on our way again, when suddenly Brens worst nightmare almost came true. Just as we were approaching a level crossing, the car suddenly stopped accelerating, and started to slow down. Fortunately Bren managed to coast a couple of feet past the train tracks, where we stopped, with Jeff refusing to start at all and making a horrible grinding noise. I checked all the basics and declared it "Broken in a serious way". We did what any self respecting Englishman would do in this situation: called the RAC and started playing football.



The RACQ guy checked it and, more usefully, told us the cam belt had snapped, first apologising for interrupting our game. What a guy! He called for a tow truck and, about an hour later we were in Townsville, found a hostel, ate and then slept, absolutely exhausted. Bren declared that I was "Getting better" after having slept for 11 hours, which is quite the compliment from the sleepmaster!

What a goddamn night! Using my brilliant insomnia powers i've managed to get up after 3 hours sleep, leaving Bren in the room sleeping like a baby. Altogether now, ahhhh. We met everyone at beaches, the hostel that most of the group were staying at, and had a good chat/drink for an hour, leaving for a bar/restaurant at around half seven. We had a table pre booked for Habibi, our boat, and proceeded to order meals and drinks like there was no tomorrow. Halfway through our meal, a possum decided to show up, and promptly got blinded by about a million camera flashes: they really are cute little blighters, and quite the after dinner entertainers. After much drinking, everyone decided that dancing on the tables would be a good idea, so we all strutted our funky stuff to the likes of grease, come on eileen and other such classics.

Got the bus back into "Town" and ended up in Morocco's where, brilliantly, there was a wet t-shirt competition on (again you say...). Five of the girls from our boat turned out to be the only contenders, so, egged on by plenty of beer and shouting (my throat still hurts) they danced the night away, until only Kristine and Jennifer (the Swedes) were left, with Jennifer being declared the winner after a superb display of wet t-shirt control.



This is when things started to get a bit messy, as Gertie and Caroline, the two irish girls who'd taken part, simply became fall down drunk, and it took me, Maureen, Stacy and Bren to get them to their room. Unsurprisingly, they didn't know how to get there. After about one and a half hours we just dumped them in our room to sleep the worst off and went back to Morocco's, to find it closed! Finally tracked the squad down in the Juice bar and were treated to a heroes welcome.
I got funky at the frst JT song (the man's a legend) and promptly got asked if i'd been a male stripper at some point. Interesting... After about 3 hours of boogying, watching the jackass movie and talking to everyone, Bren and I said our goodbyes. We'll definitely see some of them again in Cairns, but sadly, despite getting her email address, I'll probably never see Jen again. Hell of a shame as i really enjoyed her company.

Anyway, i'm off to find Jeff (he got down and dirty with one of the Canadian girls from the boat, who, incidentally, is 12 years younger than him....) and Maureen to say tatty bye byes, i'll post again when we get somewhere interesting up the coast, probably Cairns.

I'll be writing postcards as soon as we get to Cairns, hope you enjoy them (especially mum and Dad!) Bye!

Chris

Back on dry land at last, which, you'll be delighted to note, is now swaying listlesly from side to side no matter what I do. I don't know why or how the body adjusts to constant motion, but I wish to god it wouldn't. Just eaten a HUGE subway sandwich and am now thinking i must be the only man who feels seasick on dry land.

Whitsundays sailing was so unbelievably cool, I almost don't believe it myself! First day was a bit dodgy as it absoutely pelted it down and we were subjected to 25-30 knot winds all the way out to the cove. The pacific and I continued our feud, once again leaving me vanquished and incredibly wet as the massive waves decided to choose me as their sole target, all because of a little taunting (is that all you've got pacific!! etc). Another aside, sadly my camera has broken after being exposed to too much sand on Fraser Island, so i'm now having to use Brens, which promptly ran out of batteries. Chalk up another one for forward planning... First night was the getting to know each other drinking games, which were absolutely hilarious, with a hardened crew of Brits, Irish, a few americans, Dutch, a brazillian and two swedish girls, deciding to get absolutely ruined. I can honestly say i've never had so much fun at sea!!

Next day we went to Whitehaven beach, with me decing to wake up just after 5am after a hard night on the sauce. Even I was impressed! Whitehaven beach was easily the most breathtaking place i've ever seen, with sand so pure it's rated as the 3rd "Best" beach in the world. The only downside to proceedings was that we had to don skintight lycra all in ones called "Stinger suits" to protect us from Jellyfish. The upside is that all of the ladies on board carried them off excellently, and that it produced two of the most ridiculously funny photos of Bren and I in tight Lycra. I laughed so hard I cried, seriously! We finished up with a Germany/England game of beach football in which we gave them a sound thumping!



After lunch we sailed to a place called blue oyster cove and went diving, which was just incredible. Scotty, the captain of the yacht threw loads of bread over the side and quite quickly we were absolutely surrounded by the most beautiful fish i've ever seen outside an attenborough production! After about 2 hours of diving, we sat on the beach with some XXXX and watched the sunset over the Whitsunday islands. Breathtaking.



The last nights drinking games were even better than the first, with Bren and I finishing off the Royal Liquer from Bundaburg, and Jennifer and I inventing a truly amazing drinking game involving a six pack ring holder and filling a snorkel with beer or wine. Definitely worth seeing the photo's!! The night got even funnier with the introduction of a bad-joke competition, which Bren and I shone at as a double act, and Jeff, rather brilliantly, had everyone in hysterics with his jokes, despite not being able to remember any punchlines. Man of the hour was Shane, who, quite simply is a joke telling machine. Shane mate, we salute you!

Finally, today was just spent chilling, Brendan and I helped to hoist the sails, which was really cool, and a schoal of Batfish, which are absolutely huge weird looking things, followed our boat. We're meeting up again at 5:30 in one of the hostel bars for a sending off knees up, which, if the last two days are anything to go by, is going to be absolutley brilliant. I feel so guilty that I can't remember more of the 28 names of those on board (especially the German Girl in the black Bikini. Sweet jesus...) but, thanks to the Crew, Shane, Em and Scot for taking such excellent care of (and drinking with) us, and to Dave, Dave, James, Rule & Rene, Beccie, Shane, Jennifer, Kristine, Jeff, Maureen(!) Stacy, Gertie and Caroline, two Canadian girls and all the germans who provided infinite amusement with their frankly bizarre attire (one German Guy was wearing skintight pants and an Australian Acubra hat for the entire trip...) and of course, Bren. We should be meeting up with the two Daves, James and Beccie in Cairns hopefully for a repeat of the superb drinking games, which i'm really looking forward to. Sail the Whitsundays, it's the best fun you'll have on (and under) water.



Chris and Bren

An aside: The hostel in Bundaburg was without a doubt the strictest i've ever been to, it was seriously like being in a prison camp! It's only redeeming feature was the rather powerful showers, in hindsight probably used to get rid of the delousing powder sprayed onto inmates, I mean, guests... In Airlie Beach tomorrow, we cast off tomorrow at 13:30 local on a boat that needs "Some serious repairs". Encouraging! Quote of the day on the radio was a woman shouting energetically "Get some goddamn rays into yer kids!" Very funny. Off to a Barbecue in a minute, then on to "Ladies night" at the club next to our hostel. All I have to do in convince them i'm a lady, and I get free champagne for a whole hour. To the make up room!

Chris

The distillery was really cool! We got a tour round all the works of the factory and ended up in the free bar, where we had rum and coke on tap and Bundaburg Royal Liquer, which, quite simply, what god would drink if he were a drinker!



Ended up buying a bottle of it and drinking it in the park with Bren, in the company of about 20 fruit bats with about 3 foot wingspans!

Today we're in Rockhampton, we went caving today, one of the most Indiana Jones moments of the trip so far! We saw more bats and went into acave called the cathedral, which is one of the most acoustically perfect places on earth. They played some classical music and it sounded truly heavenly. We made our way back through a really tight and winding passage called the zigzag, which was really cool.

Just had steak for dinner, the only option in the beef capital of Australia! Going to Airlie beach for our sailing adventure, can't wait!!

Greetings from Bundaberg, home of Bundy the rum-addicted polar bear!

Last night in Rainbow beach was pretty cool, everyone from my party was absolutely knackered, so we just played some darts, some pool and some increasingly aggressive table tennis, before being booted out of the bar by a keen-to-close barmaid. Sat outside our room with some "Tasty" cheap wine, as one by one, everyone went to sleep except for Kim and I . We drank for a while, then went to a bar in the centre of town whcih had the worst covers band i've ever heard. That closed at midnight, leading us back to Kims hostel, where her room turned out to be some kind of relaxation haven with the most comfy sofa i've sat in for ages, so jealous! Had one of those really cool conversations where you look down at your watch and realise it's 3:30. Got into bed and ended up sleeping on top of a number of bottles of beer and pairs of sunglasses.

Next day I got up reasonably early and booked Bren and I on a 3 day sailing trip round the whitsundsay islands, starting this Wednesday. We got going at about 10:30 after eating pies for breakfast and merrily trundled on up highway one.

Out of NOWHERE a huge red SUV cam hurtling onto our side of the road doing about 120 KM/h, swerving wildy. Bren managed to veer to the right enough for it to miss us, literally by inches, with the side of our car being peppered by stones. I looked in the mirror and saw it career off the edge of the road in a huge cloud of red dust. We stopped, somewhat shaken, but SO glad to be alive, and went to see if the driver was ok.

Somehow she'd stayed upright, and upon confronting her, she seenmed to realise that overtaking at 20kmh over the speed limit on double white lines just before a junction whilst feeling sleepy and ill wasn't something she was going to do again.

I say this with absolute belief that Bren's reactions saved both our lives yesterday, and that's not something a man forgets in a hurry. Cheers Bren.

Finally got to bundagburg at about 6, watched a couple of films and then fell into a coma like sleep, I managed almost 10 hours!

Off to the distillery today for a guided tour, and then probably on to one of the bars here.

Chris & Bren (Glad to be alive)

Back in Rainbow beach now from Fraser Isand, quite simply the most fun i've had outdoors in a long, long time! Bren and I met up with the rest of the group at the YHA over a couple of beers, did the shopping in faithful Jeff, and then had a few more beers... We went to the 4x4 hire place, picked up the beast and headed off to the barge at a truly unreasonable 7:30am. The four guys took it in turns to tear-arse their way along the beach, leaping over hills splashing through washouts and creeks and generally having a whale of a time.







I never thought i'd say this, but I wish I'd had a car licence so i could have taken part in this brilliant lunacy. First night was spent getting really drunk using some of the most innovative drinking games i've ever come across, interrupted only by the three dingo's we saw skulking around in the darkness, that and stopping for lights out to look at the clearest starfield i've ever seen... A bit later on some of the people from the other trucks came over, most notably Kim and Simon, attracted by the animal noises coming from the animal noises drinking game, earning our bus the nickname "The fun Bus". Superb!



Second day we went to the champagne pools, basically a sheltered rock pool, which was a bit crap (especially after the 1 hour walk in the baking sun!!) We then headed off to lake Wabby which was really beautiful, swam and frolicked with a football for a couple of hours and watched Martin roll all the way down a massive sand dune, right to the waters edge, sadly stopping just short of the lake. So close!!



Last night was more drinking games, with me proving to be the most unlucky man in the world as Bren got ALL 4 aces in the game, meaning I had to down 4 beers in VERY quick succession. Things went a bit downhill from there, and I have to admit that, for the first time in over 2 years, I was rather spectacularly ill... Emar was without a doubt as drunk as i've ever seen a person that didn't then need medical attention, but was up with the larks first thing the next morning. What a girl!



Finally today we went to lake McKenzie, which had perfect white sand and the clearest water i've ever seen, leading to some grade A sunburn for Bren. Blistery! On the way we came across an aussie family stuck in the sand, with the wife of the man driving taking almost perverse pleasure in videoing every second of her husbands misfortune. We attached a tow rope and I dug under the wheels and put planks down. All the boys pushed and, second time, we managed to pull them out. When we arrived we ate the rest of the food from the Eskies (chilly bins) and found ourselves sharing our table (log) with two sizeable monitor lizards with a taste for ketchup and cheap wine... Lake Mckenzie was a truly beautiful place, marred only by 5 hungover goons playing touch rugby and having water races. Well we had to, didn't we...

So, thanks to Martin, Mike (one of the funniest and unluckiest men i've ever met) Tom, Anjoula, Gillian, Emar, Chrissy and, of course Bren, for an amazing 2 days. Hopefully I'll see them again, Bren and I should be meeting up with Chrissy in Melbourne in January, and the rest of tonight will dictate whether we see the others too.



View from Indian heads, Fraser Island, Australia

Last night in Brissie (sic), shared a few carlton cold's with the returning Bren, who was first speaker at the funeral! He coped well by all accounts, and is currently snoozing after a tiring day.

I spent the day engrossed in Bill Bryson (his book, you understand..) talking with Alex, almost going to the long Pone Koala sanctuary, then going for a walk into central Brisbane and across the river to the South bank. Went to the Queensland Art Gallery, which has some truly amazing exhibits, including some Australian/Chinese porcelain busts with detailing so intricate that it defies belief! Afterwards I did a little window shopping, before buying a few bits of food and whatnot that we'll need for the journey to Rainbow beach (population 900!).

getting quite sleepy now after my rather warm and tiring walk (Australian Green man signs give you, no word of a lie, 5 seconds, before turning red and flashing, resulting in a panicky sprint to the other side. No wonder all Australians are so athletic!!)

Can't wait to get somewhere with a beach. Oh, and a massive 4x4 landrover, driven by someone that isn't me.

Smoke 'em if you got em!

Brenless in Brisbane at the moment. Bren flew out a 2PM Brisbane time (3PM sydney time, it's so strange that the top half of the country completely denies the existance of daylight savings). Been reading Bill Bryson's book on Australia and getting quietly concerned about crossing the outback in our little Toyota Starlet. Reminding myself that nothing easy is a challenge, and that challenges are always worthwhile, so it'll be a good experience whatever happens.

Have a new clutch of Dorm mates today, the nicest of which is Alex from Ohio, who made me some corn on the cob when it became apparent that I intended to survive exclusively on 2 minute noodles on toast... (Quite why I didn't check whether the kitchen had an oven before buying a pizza is beyond me!) She's a professional photographer and really quite knowledgeable about all things travelling. kelly from Ireland is cool too, as well as the usual smattering of Germans and Brazillians.

Staying in tonight as I went out on my own yesterday toa backpackers bar and spent too much money (not a lot, but it put me just over budget). Met Swiss twins that were studying English here in Brisbane and generally danced the night away surrounded by Londoners. Pretty lazy day, and once again, the spacebar is sticking, so i'm going to go before the rage takes over.

"I'll have two schooners of Tooheys please mate"

Hello fellow internet users,
Just wanted to apologise if yesterday's entry was a bit stilted. You see, what happened is that i was typing for a good 20 minutes about the last few days activities, and all of a sudden, my time ion the PC just stopped. No warning, nothing. Understandably pissed off, i got another 30 minute card and proceeded to create a second rate account of events, which i'm not overly proud of. Staying in Brisbane til Tuesday now in the Prince consort. Bren and I met a pair of Irish Nurses and a Parisian biker chick last night, as well as Ed our roommate in 208 who seems really cool. We've moved out into a 22 bed dorm(!) in the same building to keep costs down, so THAT should be interesting...

It's still hammering it down here, the gold coast (middle East coast) had 100mm of rain in a single day, and it doesn't look to be stopping. To be fair they are overdue, as the region has been in drought for the last 4 years.

Far wetter than i was led to believe.

Hey all, I don't know about you, but I was led to believe that it was SUNNY in Australia during their Summer. Back in Brisbane now where it's been pelting with rain for the last 2 days. Wen't to Australia zoo yesterday, driving through sheet rain to be greeted by steve Irwin's grinning face through the rain! Now, in my infinite wisdom, the only piece of wet weather clothing I have here is my Glastonbury Poncho which, to be frank, makes me look like a crap Plastic-clad jedi...

I saw Koala's, which are without a doubt the cutest animals i've ever seen, and so lazy that I think Bren was taking notes for new even lazier reclining positions...



Bren and I then went through to "Kangaroo heaven" where i proceeded to pet EVERY kangaroo in the place (You honestly won't believe how soft they are!)



Crocodile feeding time was cool, with an Irwinesque character feeding the biggest crocodiles i've ever seen with bits of chicken. Scary stuff!!



We then went on to Mooloolabaa, North of Brisbane, and checked into a hostel there. Bren then Received that news that "Thomas" had died, and that he had been asked to attend the funeral. He and I immediately thought that it was ex-latymarian Thomas Klassnik, and an understandably distressed Bren then managed to lock our keys in the car. Fortunately for us, the manager had a bit of a dodgy past, and was able to break into our car and save the day!

Bren then phoned home and discovered that it was his grand uncle Thomas, who lives in Sydney and whom Bren had visited before we left, that had died. Getting back to the hostel, we decided to drive back to Brisbane and Bren would fly from there. I sorted him an internal flight and we booked a few nights in a hostel in Brisbane. After all this, we sat back, reflected on the day and had a few bottles of beer.

To end the day, some commotion was heard from Bren's dorm, and a few minutes later, one of his roommates appeared holding a pool cue with a huntsman spider the size of my palm on the end of it that had been crawling around the room! Australian Flora and Fauna is really quite terrifying!

The outback should be fun...

In brisbane at the moment, last night's 70's brilliance was the most fun i've had in ages. We got dressed up (I wore the most hideous shirt imaginable) then got hammered playing drinking games. Sadly the limo couldn't fit us all in so we had to walk, but the club was excellent. I partook in a limbo competition but in the end, the guy who won had the ability to actually fold himself in half and what chance, realistically, did I have agaoinst that? Going to Australia zoo tomorrow, as we got there at 3.55 and it closes at 4... What did I say about forward planning?

The hostel here is cool, wiyth everyone giving us advice on where to go, and an Irish couple telling us all about their Thailand exploits. Sooo exciting! Sophie, one of the girls here, has also shown us two new national parks that we can go to, as Kakadu (the one we wanted to go to) is in rainy season at the moment, and our little Starlet can't quite make it!

Off to bed now, as we have to be up for 8 to get to mooloolooba for 3 after the zoo.

"He's really angry now, look what happens if I put my head in his mouth...."

God bless you Steve!

Managed to survive the bungee rocket, with Brendan uttering the most elegant profanity once we'd reached the top. Spent the rest of the day getting aquainted with our hostel mates, including Lucy From New Zealand, Paul from Portsmouth, Anders the Swede and Shane, the rather brillant Aussie who managed to fully leap into the closed patio door, leaving a faceprint on the glass. Absolutely hiularious once we'd ascertained he was ok!

Went to a few pubs and then on to a club, with the free drinks provided by the hostel, bren and I managed to spend $3.50 each (about 1.50 UKP) the whole night! Boogied on down and met lots of Australian "Schoolies" who proceeded to moan endlessly about Johnny Wilkinson and Englands kicking game. Just accept it!!

Off out tonight in the hostel limo for some kind of 70's shenanigans, then on to Australia zoo tomorrow.





Bye for now!

Greetings from the gold coast!

In Surfers paradise at the moment, got here at about 12AM from Byron bay. Yesterday was spent on the beach sunbathing, playing football and swimming. I say swimming, but I actually mean being repeatedly battered by the Pacific. Bren, used to this sort of thing, went under the first huge wave, and turned round to find a spluttering disorientated Chris about 20ft behind him. How he laughed...

Going to arrange being fired from a huge bungee slingshot today, as that's the sort of thing that gets done aroud here. Might go for a swim in a bit, then it's off to the clubs/pub for, hopefully, a little less table dancing. Have met a few people here, Anders seems pretty cool, and the whole hostel is going out in a big party bus to the club area later on.

Off to Brisbane either tomorrow or Wednesday to go to Australia zoo, with the chance of seeing Steve Irwin...

Crikey!